I used to see through the whole glass,
not just a glass half full.
The telescopic lens was thick green, like the bottom of a vase,
that could see right through the bullshit that seems to cover everything.
Maybe,
the optimism of youth*
(*A willing ignorance to avert the eyes from the puzzle pieces that don't fit in my interpretation of what life is, was, will be.)
is to blame.
Seeing the truth that life is a non-sequitur,
an incoherent rambling,
a hodgepodge,
a complete shit show,
where words and actions can never be truly understood.
Love hurts the hardest when all you want to do is share it.
But past fears creep forth, panic sets in and the shell gets thrown up.
Sometimes you do it for yourself,
then you realize, that it may be for the benefit of others.