It all started a few weeks ago, when I was still your run of the mill hard working student. I had been going to a NYU and was starting my junior year. I was always awkward around people and felt nervous at parties.
"Here take this." My roommate handed me a capsule.
"What is it?" I shouted. The music was overbearing. I was sitting alone on a couch.
"Yeah!" My roommate shouted back, and motioned me to put it in my mouth.
I looked at the pill laying gently in the palm of my hand. It held some mysterious white powder. What's the worst that could happen?
If I could go back now, I don't know if I would've taken it. It wasn't like me to just take something without researching. But then again I know better now.
I put it in my mouth and chased it down my throat with a large gulp of the jungle juice in my cup. It was an ok party, I guess. There was music, beer pong, a couple people grinding, some people hooking up, a circle around a pipe, some people kept leaving to smoke and coming back in. I watched. I felt like a mad scientist observing every action, then reaction. I watched the group dynamic shift. I saw the tide of the party grow, then shrink, then grow. Each time people grew drunker, louder more obnoxious. I sat observing all this. There were lots of repeating cycles, people saying the same things, guys flirting with girls that were too drunk to notice or care. I saw the system as it was. I felt the vibrations in the air. I felt the tension of two boys competing over the same girl. Egos bumping, fuel raging. Like lions fighting over the pride.
I sat back and wondered could I pull the strings? Could I cause chaos, boredom, or even lust? I sat up. an idea in my head started worming it's way around. I had to wait, it wasn't the right time. The vibe wasn't quite right. I needed to wait for the next crest. Like a cat ready to spring upon it's prey I sat tense and silent.
People came back from smoking outside. Another keg was tapped. More jungle juice was stocked. Another game of beer pong was started. Then I sprang.
"People!" I stood up and shouted. I knew what I had to say. I had control!
And then the pill kicked in.
"Uuumm..." My mind was blank. The image in front of my eyes, was colorful, and the colors swirled and spiraled. I did not know how long I had been standing there. A couple of seconds? A month? I heard a laugh. I was losing it. I felt it slipping away.
"I'm tripping balls." I finally said lamely and sat back down. There were a few chuckles, but I was then forgotten. Sent back to sit by myself in the corner, ignored.